Saturday, December 13, 2008

Clean Christmas Jokes

What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !
Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?
They both drop their needles !
What's Christmas called in England ?
Yule Britannia !
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ?
Thanks, I'll never part with it !
Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ?
Beacause a little water ends both of them !
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple !
What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?
Platform shoes !
What did the big candle say to the little candle ?
I'm going out tonight !
Whats happens to you at Christmas ?
Yule be happy !
How long does it take to burn a candle down ?
About a wick !

Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Mary
Mary who ?
Mary Christmas !
What did one Angel say to the other ?
Halo there !
How to cats greet each other at Christmas ?
"A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year" !
What do elephants sing at Christmas ?
No-elephants, no elephants !
What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ?
Best vicious of the season
What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas ?
Cross mouse cards !
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ?
A merry Christmas to ewe

2 comments:

Sandy said...

Oh yah, now I have joke ammunition for hubby and granddaughter. I especially love the one about the bald guy and his comb. Thank you for the giggles my Sweet Secret Santa. Smiles, Sandy

Sandy's Secret Santa said...

LOL @ bald guy! I wanted to keep them "clean" so that you could share them. =)